How To Avoid Embarrassing Stains
One of the great things about etiquette and hopefully one aspect of manners I convey clearly is that it's not about perfection all the time. Be it following rules of the dining table or introducing yourself, sometimes we fail. That's fine.
Another way this manifests is when we are trying to present ourselves immaculately and then wallop, we spill a glass of wine over the freshly washed table cloth in our host's home or knock over a coffee drenching our executive linen trousers in bean extract. It happens to us all.
Impulsively, we want to panic and shout expletives, but there is a better way to deal with stains without letting your dignity go out the window.
Lip stick stains
Unintentionally smearing your 'lippy' on a wine glass is a mishap known all too well to those wearing lipstick , and in many cases, you can't avoid it. Having said that, one stain is quite enough, so make sure you drink from the same spot on the glass every time so that, hopefully, you're the only one who can see it.
Jo Bryant, my friend and colleague at The English Manner, advises subtly licking a spot on side of the glass to add a slight film to help prevent the makeup coming off.
How to avoid a cabernet calamity
Unsurprisingly, it is the colour of grape from which springs the strong crimson dye in red wine, the harshest of stains equivalent to beetroot.
Why does red wine stain so harshly?
The redness of red wines is mainly made up of a flavonoid called anthocyanin, which is in fact water soluble.
The staining, however, is caused by the tannins, molecules which, although impart wonderful flavour, combine with other molecules and stick to them i.e. those on your clothing, for example.
Coffee is similarly a very stubborn stain because it's equally full of highly reactive acids.
Pre-treating stains
Most of these stains (according to Sod's Law) will occur during social occasions when you cannot do much about it. In which case, should your pristine white shirt or blouse be blotted by beaujolais, some on the spot pre-treatment is a must and will help you wash it out more easily later.
The etiquette: excuse yourself to the nearest bathroom and dab the stain with dry paper towel, don't wet or smear anything.
If you can remove the garment privately and run some water through it, this will rinse the stain out before it fully sets. A splash of white wine is no old wive's tale either. Pat dry again, cover as discreetly as possible, then return to the gathering
The salt trick
If you spill wine on an accessory or something you can easily take off without undressing per se, and you are in somebody else's home, you can ask for some salt. Yes, really.
Add a mound of salt on the stain and through the power of osmosis the salt should absorb the moisture of the wine taking the stain with it and turning the salt pink over an hour or so.
What if I stain other people's property?
Should you spill wine everywhere all over your friend's cream carpet or Grade One Axminster, make your immediate apologies but offer to help using the information above.
If the host is clearly annoyed but trying their best to hide it, you could offer a small gesture to say sorry, such as a really nice bottle of wine you know they love, or a new cushion, or whatever it may be.
Offering to pay for the deep cleaning is a good touch, too, although I suggest hosts politely reject that offer.
One last thing, if you offer to wash something to as an act of service, don't make things go from bad to worse by completely ignoring the washing labels.
You might remove that stain, but what good is a shirt that has shrunk two sizes?
Yours immaculately,