5 Bad Conversation Topics To Avoid
What a couple of days it has been.
Let me first say thank you for politely grabbing your copy of Just Good Manners North American Edition, it was wonderful to be at The Strand on Tuesday evening and at Bookends in New Jersey on Thursday. It was a pleasure to do some readings in front of two enthusiastic groups, described by one individual as "Americans getting their dose of decorum".
I'll take that.
Is your conversation worse than you think?
As much as we all love fussing over which particular piece of archaic Victorian cutlery (if any) is correct or how a high-level delegation should behave in a foreign country, the bottom line is: conversation etiquette is 90% of the leg work.
Back in 2023, a mini-interview ahead of the Oscars took place with your erstwhile British screen heartthrob Hugh Grant, except it went viral due to how awkward the conversation was. A perfect example, in fact, of how American conversation style differs from the British style. Review here.
To help you avoid similarly unfulfilling conversations, remember to avoid these five bad conversation topics.
1. Politics
I know that your strongly held political beliefs do not feel as such at all, rather, they feel like the factually and morally correct opinion, however, other people feel the same about their political beliefs, too.
G.K. Chesterton said, 'I never discuss anything else except politics and religion. There is nothing else to discuss.' Well, unless you want every social occasion to descend into bitter rivalry, I'd stay clear of those two topics in social settings. Especially in today's climate.
2. Health
The post-2020 world would have us believe that all mention of health is fair game, but it is not. Health, like wealth, is a personal matter and should be kept that way. You can talk around the subject, for example, about fitness, gyms, all kind of sports and events, but nothing like, 'How are your symptoms, James? Any better?'
3. Religion
Needless to say, religion is inherently a sacred topic and any conversation on the matter should take place only in private with close-trusted friends or family, or in a religious setting or gathering.
4. Sex
If even two individuals trying to be romantic on several dates with each other dare not speak so bluntly about sex, why are you asking your cousin if they have 'seen' anyone lately?
5. Money and finance
A great example of the difference between American and British etiquette to this day is the proclivity to talk openly about money and finance. In their own way, both approaches are admirable. But in traditional British etiquette, such a theme is still off-limits most of the time. Even in the workplace, one's remuneration is very private. The only person you should discuss your finances with is your spouse and mortgage advisor. No one else needs to know nor needs to be asked.
Furthermore, what difference does it make? We are trying to engage with a person, not their wallets.
What to talk about
For some, all this is may rule out a lot of chat, but what is safe is discussion about people's day, the weather (if you must), non-controversial news, sports, tech, the room you're in, how you know a mutual friend or host.
And with these alternative topics, ask open questions that will give more fruitful and lingering answers than just queries that lead to yes/no answers, and that applies to all of these taboo topics.
And with that, please have a lovely Sunday.
Yours tastefully,
William